(Sorry for the terrible quality of the photos)
I don't really know how to describe my summer. I was always doing something but I was also being super lazy not doing what I had to do like studying for abnormal psychology and GRE. all my other korean friends are getting lectures on GRE and stuff but I am not. However, I did few things that would be helpful for my psychology major. I completed 16 hours of drama therapy and got a certificate. Also, I took lectures on how to give and interpret MMPI-2/A (personality inventory) and got a certificate for that one, too. oh and I've been working out for like two hours everyday. I don't know where I get the energy from. I think I'm just really bored. so it's now like I didn't do ANYTHING. I've just been slow, lazy, and totally UNmotivate. Motivation. it is the thing. it is the problem. it is what keeps people going. but when it is not there, people become so dumb and immovable. We don't know how to keep going without motivation. Self-control. Self-discipline. Pushing oneself. That is what I need. RIGHT NOW.
Oh I also worked as a staff for college church camp. I met some new amazing people whom I hate to think about saying goodbye when I leave. I experienced the love of God again. It was different. Something I didn't expect. Something I never could imagine. Something I never felt. Love that is different from love I get from other humans. I alwyas thought they were the same but felt different just because we humans are sinful. but God's love is totally different from humans' love for each other. There is something indescribable, so tangible yet hard to grasp, irresistable, and irreversible. You know how I put prefix like in, ir, which mean unable, can't. I guess my point is that once you experience the love of God, you will never be the same. Once you feel the holy spirit, you will never be the same. I've always spoken like I am such a faithful christian that follows Christ but the reality is that I was being very obstinate and difficult. I was so firm in that I do not want to teach. I was so stubborn that I do not want to be a preacher's wife. but what the heck. who am I to say that God can give me only certain roles? if He wants, that it should be. it MUST be. I didn't expect to really get anything out of the camp except just helping the people there to have a good camp. but I got out the most valuable lesson. Way more than I worked and served there. The theme for the camp was VISION. My vision WAS majoring in psychology, going into graduate school for clinical psychology, and working at a children's hospital. but NOW my vision is to follow God's mission endlessly and informally.
My parents and I have ups and downs in our relationship since we've been apart for so long and now have different mindsets and cultures. but we've been doing better. We both know that we are different and need to give up certain things to get the puzzles right together. We may go on a little family trip today and come back tomorrow. (S.Korea ain't so big like America where you can travel for weeks and months lol) I hope it works out. I hope we come back home without any hard feelings. haha
I still have lots of things I want to do, lots of places I want to go see, and lots of people I want to see. but if the time comes, I think I will be ready to go back to the states and to see all my friends again and study like crazy again. this time, I won't be back for two years and I think that is why I feel more attached to home than ever. Two years. It will go by fast. I am investing everything in future. and I am actually quite excited about what I will have to give up and also get for staying in the states in the summer 2012.
