Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Don't wanna go to sleep.

It is 1:30 a.m. right now and I'm extremely tired because I went to bed at 2 a.m. last night. I'm extremely sleepy and feeling my eyelids being so heavy. but I think I"m just a night owl. I do not want to go to sleep. I do not want to waste this night. I want to go to sleep but I don't. I do wanna close my eyes and shut myself from the world for a little bit but then I don't wanna close my eyes. I do not want to miss out on ANYTHING. LAME.

"He doesn't love me"... She doesn't realize how that hurts me as much as that hurts her. I mean, I understand both of them and I still love both of them sooooo much. But They don't seem to realize how they act hurts me even tho they don't intend to hurt me. When they are nice to me but just so cruel to each other, when they hurt each other down in front of me, when they just cuss about each other to me, it HURTS. They just think I listen to them. They just think they can let it out to me because they always have been. but it hurts. and I'm seriously sick of it. but I do not want to tell them that it hurts. because I don't.

But things have been better than the last summer or the summer before. There's at least no physical action.

I just really wanted to put up this post SOMEHOW. I do not even know.

I just want to get out and be free. I feel so trapped and limited. POOP.

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