3-3-2011

This is a post previously written on paper in the prayer room at Harding. Kind of late to post it, but oh well. haha :)
Oh by the way, I just had a thought: what will happen at 2:22 a.m. on Feubrary 22nd, 2222? It is in 111 years..... hahahahahahaaaaahahhhhhh

Okay, so I read Psalm 1-9. I've only read few parts of Psalms. (actually, few parts of the whole book of the Bible-very preacher's kid-ish, right?) Read the famous chapters, verses, or books like Psalm 23-one of my favorite. Suddently, a desire knocked on the door of my heart and I started reading the book of Psalm from the beginning. It is the most beautiful, magnificent, expressive, candid, heart-sweetening, purposeful, wonderful, and awesome poems EVER! My heart immediately got soaked up in the rain of His mercy, grace and glory.

PSALM 6-It totally reflects how I whine to God. I am such a whining baby to Him. Somehow, because how David cries to God is sooooooooooo how I cry to God, it rather consoled me. Hmmmmm!
PSALM 8-just beautiful! Description of the wonderful work through His fingers. It was so beautiful and I thought, "and how do we just pass by His creation without being in such awe?"

While I was reading the 9 chapters, I thought to myself: GOD IS SO PERFECT.
He is so PERFECCT that I can't even get quite a grasp of what He is like. There are so many words to describe Him and they are all true, don't get me wrong. But He surpassess all the literary description possibly written. He surpasses them. Can you imagine? I can't imagine at all but sniffle with teary eyes and lips wide open in awe. I am.. selfish, spoiled, narcissistic, altruistic, self-conscious, pretentious, greedy, and vain. yet I am loved, blessed and called by the most wonderous creator ever. I'm so insignificant, yet He finds me significant and worthy of the death of His one and only beloved son. I am the farthest from perfect, and he is the closest to perfect, and yet He keeps me as the apple of the eye!

Sometimes, I'm the mast of self-pity party. I am the true planner of it all! and sometimes, the world seems unfair, cruel, messy, corrupted, sucky, and screwed up. but I really don't need to play the party every time I feel like a victim, because He is fair to me. He is forgiving, merciful, graceful, and loving to me. Unconditionally. and that should be good enough. No matter how many times I 'think' I am the biggest victim and wish for my own destruction, He just embraces in His wings and arms.

My eternal father before my biological father.
My eternal teacher before Dr. Hobby who got knited in Scotland(?)
My eternal husband before the one I make supper for everyday.
My first before everything.
and my last after everything.