I long for healthy living!

Okay, okay.

I feel like I do pretty good job at being healthy by eating healthy foods at the right time and working out at least 3 days a week. and I feel good being healthy and actually enjoy being healthy. I'd much rather choose healthy food than processed food, junk food, or fast food like hamburgers.

Because I do a good job at being healthy during the week, I give myself a little break to spoil myself by eating unhealthy foods. and I don't think that giving yourself a little break is a bad thing at all. It actually is one of the strategies for more effective dieting. HOWEVER, my problem is that when I give myself a break, I just let myself loose and go insane. It's like I've never seen chocolate before. I drown myself in it. I sinnk in the chocolate spa pool. Yeah, BINGE. that is the problem here. I decide to give myself a break over the weekend. but I binge. and then I feel really loaded up and bloated. and I feel bad in myself.

I wish I had control over myself even when I give it a break. I wish I could just be done with a tiny piece of cake and be perfectly satisfied. I wish I could say no to every offer to dig into some delicious, rich, and moist yet unhealthy foods that just weigh me down.

Now I binged this weekend, I will probably feel really loaded up, bloated, weighed down, and tired - long-term sugar crash, could it be? haha and my body will probably swell because of unexpected amount of unexpected and unwelcomed kind of food in the system.

According to the foot massage my host dad gave me, my liver, stomach, and pancreas are not working perfectly right. I guess I've always known because I've always had problems with my system but I never gave much serious thought to it. but now I feel like I really need to fix myself.

My body is the Lord's temple as well as my soul; therefore, I need to take a good care of it by feeding the right nutrients and moving regularly so it can stay clean and active.

I am so sick and tired of this cycle of eating healthy and binging. Therefore, I am going to set some rules:

1. NO junk food whatsoever. (like candy, candy bars, fried chips, etc)

2. Always think of a healthy alternative: more PROTEIN and FIBER

3. Give yourself a break over weekend but have control of it:

have only ONE kind of LITTLE piece of whatever.

4. Don't accept every offer. It is OKAY to say no.

5. When eating out, HALF the food first. eat one half and take the half out.

6. Listen to your tummy: am I hungry? if not, don't eat anything. It leads to binging.

If you feel bored in your mouth, drink WATER or TEA.

7. EXERCISE at least 3 days a week.

8. Concentrate on the full flavor of the food so the little amount can fully satisfy you.

9. DEEP BREATHE before you go for more food or food with empty calories

10. The purpose is not just to lose some weight. It is TO BE HEALTHY.

Being healthy leads to healthy body, healthy mind, and healthy soul with healthy attitude.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

Also, those foods that are processed, fried, greasy, or have lots of sugar mess things up for me like: SKIN, DISGESTIVE SYSTEM, and EMOTIONS.

Let's be a responsible individual and take care of ourselves. It leads to good things. I bet the Lord agrees with me!

Homerun balls and Parisian dream

Bonjour!

You're probably wondering what the heck all those weird stuff  are.

Well, one of the wonderful beaux of Delta Gammar Rho, Jonghwa Lee, is generous enough to share some of Korean food with me!

Apparently, his sister sent him a package full of Korean food, and I kinda asked for some...

(I know.. pitiful, I am. haha but I no care!)

Anyway, so the green boxed stuff are like cream-puffed balls except it's chocolate-puffed balls!

(they are called "Homerun balls!")
Yes, yummmmmmy!

and the two little cartons are soy milk!
Oh I love soy milk!

and the two packages in the very front are seaweed, which I love to eat with oatmeal that are cooked dry.

I know, it sounds really weird and nasty to yall. but I no care!

and the rest are ramen noodles. (yes, korean ramen noodles are the best)

I just want to say "THANK YOU" for giving me such homie comfort. :))

and just a little outfit I put together wishing I could go walk around the Effel tower right now.

on a sunny day. with a straw berry ice cream in one hand.

I shall, I shall, some day!

shirt, pants, earrings, clutch bag, shoes

His plan, I'm feelin' it!

Okay, so you know how you have highs and lows in your days, weeks, months, years, and in your entire life? and when you have highs, you are super excited, give thanks to the Lord, and talk all about it to family and friends. and when you have lows, you may question God but you still pick up the strength He gives you. and you just sit, wait, and wish the storm would be over soon. OR you try to learn lessons through the storm, which I respect people who do that sooo much. anyway so you do deal with highs and lows differently, right?

and then.... time passes and when you look back, do you feel like the whole thing was His plan?

His plan to teach you a lesson of .... peace? patience? or self-control?

So I "had" (past perfect tense=i'm past it) been distressed with the fact that I was broke and just could not get a job on campus. Even the cafeteria, a place with their arms open wide for student workers, had all their shifts filled up. but I realized that His grace is sufficient for me and He will provide whatever I need if I just let Him work through me. so I let that go. I think that was the point where I let go of not only the money circumstances but also everything else that has potential to be distressing.

and then here are my highs and lows:

9-29 Phone situation worked out through kindhearted family of Haley Rogers

(high)

10-9 Emotions exploded and lost its control: indulged on sugar

(low)

(I know this seems like a small matter; but for a health-freak like me, it is quite a deal)

10-10 Tutoring job in the last minute

(high)

And then the kid I tutored boosts his average up from 57% to 80%!

10-16 Got back from fall break and started feeling super lonely and empty

(low.....)

10-17 Got a super nice, flattering, honoring comment on my research proposal
by my Advanced Research professor

(high)

10-18 Sudden frustrations, anger, and all the emotional junk

(low)

10-18 Tutoring rate was increased from $15 to $20

(high)

Okay, well some of the lows, I feel like it is Satan knowing that I can get affected by moods very easily (since I have the history of depression) and just trying to mess me up.

but thank the Lord that I am aware of the Satan's dirty little moves and that I am continuously lifted up and encouraged by the strength of God!

but today's low... it's different, ya'll.

Last night, I went to the Sanctuary (worship service at a church where we just praise the Lord with singing for an hour) and the Holy Spirit touched my heart.

I always say like a habig in my prayers that I would submit my life to Him, but last night was REAL. I just had to knelt down and put myself down on the ground in front Him. I could not resist the strong presence of the Holy Spirit. and I like intensely confessed to Him that I am all His. I asked Him to completely break me down and make me a servant He wants to make me. My heart cried out to Him. I seriously wanted Him to touch my soul and take my life away from me. (Not physically but.. you know.. metaphorically.. ha..)

and... I felt Him saying, "Are you ready for this? I am going to break you since you asked. but it will hurt. Are you ready for this?"

and my soul said,

"YES"

and I think the sudden emotion burst out from this morning was kinda a part of the process of breaking myself down and getting rid of ME out of me. It was over a trivial matter and I apologized. (Thankfully, it was well accepted) and it made me think a lot. I am still in the process of figuring out what the burst out was about. but I strongly feel that God is putting me on the road for complete submission and servanthood.

To be completely honest, I am a little bit anxious just because I do not want to disappoint the Father; but He probably knows my heart and the desires I have. so I am ready. and I feel like I've started on the journey. I do not know how long it will take, how hurtful it will be, and how much I would have to break my ego-shell and just strip myself to strangers out there, but I am ready.

Ready to get out of my slough.

Season of Pumpkin, Chai, Caramel, Cinnamon, and everything Spicy!

Okay, so if you have not heard of Pumpkin Pie Shake or tried it,

You've GOT TO.

Why?

Because it is soooooooo delicious!

Yes, Yes. The Season is HERE!

Fall! Autumn! Fall! Autumn!
All the green starts getting bored of their monochrome being and start wearing colors!

Then they get crispy, decide to fall off their branches, and get trampled!

Haha. What a season.

I love everything abou fall.

The color, the smell, the atmophere, the excitement for lower temp., and mostly food.

Foods and drinks of fall are so great.

chai latte thankfully stays available at coffee shops all four seasons.

it is a good reminder of sentimental fall.

but the things that come out in fall only, like "Pumpkin Latte" with a soft touch of "Cinnamon".

I don't even know what to say. haha.

Haha all the food you get to have for thanksgiving dinner?
My family does a huge turkey, homemade noodles, mashed potatoes with phenomenal gravy, stuffings with and without oysters, corn casserole, cranberry salads, pumpkin pie, pecan pie, and only my (host)mom knows what else will be on that wonderful thanksgiving dinner table this year!
I CAN'T WAIT.

One of the reasons I love America: thanksgiving dinner.

So homy, family-oriented, heart-warming feelings with full of smiles and laughter.

And the feeling of being full and happy in the tummy.

UMMMMMMMMM.

Okay, I've talked about food waaaaay too much.

I am a woman. All women, as you should know by now, LOVE food.

One of the wonderful joys in life!

Besides the wonderful God-given food of fall, I also love the change in the outfits.

I personally really like knitwears like sweaters, hats, gloves, scarves, and all sorts of things.

(Oh and flannels! It is not knitwear but it's perfect fall outfit!)

Not too bulky for winter but thin enough to feel the cold breeze yet warm enough not to freeze.

YES. you know what kinda outfits I have in my mind, right?

(I am not sure if this is exactly what I had in my mind but it is sorta! haha.

I saw other bloggers put their favorite outfits together like fashion portfolio

so I thought I might try, too!)

And Last but not the least because it is the Most Important,

I love fall because all the changes happening in the works of His hands remind me, once again,

how awesome He is. How wonderfully and fearfully His creation, us human beings, is.

Recently, when I meditate upon those tall trees around the campus and the green grass with the sun shining on them, I feel like I am in the garden of Eden. I know. Lame.

But I start imaging how those trees on campus start showing their buds,branches, leaves, and flowers.

and I start having goose bumps about how He created all those simply with His command with authority. AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So yeah since I had fall break, I talked to the Lord for about two hours.

Fell asleep in the middle :)

but it was really refreshing and nice to just not worry about time and to be in His word, all relaxed and chilled in the front lawn.  

I was directed to read Psalm 139 through my devotional book.

and this chapter became my new favorite bible scripture.

It is so refreshing, thirst-quenching, soul-satiating, and encouraging.

The expressions used are just so beautiful! :))))

Oh man I am really bad at keeping up with blog so it will take two whole days to write everything that happened ever since my last blog. so I am going go into gestalt mode - here and now!

I am not going to mention what happened in the past but only what is happening "here and now"!

haha

oh oh oh one more thing before I publish this post.

Lately, I've gotten to know some Chinese students at Harding.

At first, I just didn't even think about getting to know them because they were always by themselves and didn't look like they wanted to make friends that were not chinese.

(yeah how stupid of me to think that way. who does not want to broden their social network?)

but yeah I just never gave any thought to them.

but now I've gotten to hung out with them and stuff, I realized that they are so sweeeeeeet!

They just cluster together because they are from their home country and very family-oriented.

One time I went over to one of the chinese students' apartment, me and two other non-chinese friends ate as they cooked for us. but ther rest of them, who are chinsese, waited for hours to get all the cooking done. They are so patient, giving, and loving. They welcome people with their arms held wide.

and I do not know why I never realized that.

and I feel very indifferent and ignorant at the fact that I didn't try to get to know them!

but now I'm thankful that God opened the door for new friendship.

and I want to get to know each of them as an individual soul and their culture.

Okay, that's all.

May His blessings be with you!

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,

"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you and a future".

-Jeremiah 29:11

Friday night, it was.

Curry, I cooked with the curry powder that I brought with me over the pacific.

Friends, I invited.

Pumpkin pie shake, I finally had, and how belly-satiating, it was.

Enjoyable, the night was.

and...

"Soul Surfer", we watched and I shed tears at.

Bethany Hamilton, I have become a fan of.

All the through the movie, I was amazed at how strong she was.

(I mean, the movie was a little bit changed, but still.)

I was just blown away by how positively spirited she was.

and how God stayed with her throughout the process of getting her arm bitten, going back to the water, falling off the board countless times, realizing what she has through the mission trip, and training again to compete, not necessarily to win.

I keep realizing and getting awakened by the environment that others go through.

The struggles that are way harder, tougher, and much more hopeless looking than my own.

Bethany got her arm cut off.

Surfing was her passion. It was all she had. At least she thought so.

But the Lord used her such a great way that she can embrace so many people in pain

and encourage the discouraged.

I am thankful that the Lord keeps revealing His message to me.

He keeps waking me up and telling me to be strong.

He does assuage me 24/7.

but my thirsty soul just can't get enough of it.

but He just keeps revealing His perfect face to me and I am so thankful.

and now I am having the fever for mission trip and camping again.

I just want to pack up and hit the road.

I really do.

Haha. but I shall do what I must at where I am.

but anyway!

so yeah, I finally had PUMPKIN PIE SHAKE.

and it was phenomenal. seriously. no kidding.

I want another one right now just by talking about it. haha

Red Rain Boots

 I got a new pair of rain boots. S. Korea has this raining season every summer when it pours down for like weeks. SO I got those rain short rain boots that go up to my calves. I really like them. They look way better on short me than those long ones people usually get. So far I am satisfied with mine, and I am planning to wear them today since it rains little bit. 

(Sorry for the terrible quality of the photos)

I don't really know how to describe my summer. I was always doing something but I was also being super lazy not doing what I had to do like studying for abnormal psychology and GRE. all my other korean friends are getting lectures on GRE and stuff but I am not. However, I did few things that would be helpful for my psychology major. I completed 16 hours of drama therapy and got a certificate. Also, I took lectures on how to give and interpret MMPI-2/A (personality inventory) and got a certificate for that one, too. oh and I've been working out for like two hours everyday. I don't know where I get the energy from. I think I'm just really bored. so it's now like I didn't do ANYTHING. I've just been slow, lazy, and totally UNmotivate. Motivation. it is the thing. it is the problem. it is what keeps people going. but when it is not there, people become so dumb and immovable. We don't know how to keep going without motivation. Self-control. Self-discipline. Pushing oneself. That is what I need. RIGHT NOW.

Oh I also worked as a staff for college church camp. I met some new amazing people whom I hate to think about saying goodbye when I leave. I experienced the love of God again. It was different. Something I didn't expect. Something I never could imagine. Something I never felt. Love that is different from love I get from other humans. I alwyas thought they were the same but felt different just because we humans are sinful. but God's love is totally different from humans' love for each other. There is something indescribable, so tangible yet hard to grasp, irresistable, and irreversible. You know how I put prefix like in, ir, which mean unable, can't. I guess my point is that once you experience the love of God, you will never be the same. Once you feel the holy spirit, you will never be the same. I've always spoken like I am such a faithful christian that follows Christ but the reality is that I was being very obstinate and difficult. I was so firm in that I do not want to teach. I was so stubborn that I do not want to be a preacher's wife. but what the heck. who am I to say that God can give me only certain roles? if He wants, that it should be. it MUST be. I didn't expect to really get anything out of the camp except just helping the people there to have a good camp. but I got out the most valuable lesson. Way more than I worked and served there. The theme for the camp was VISION. My vision WAS majoring in psychology, going into graduate school for clinical psychology, and working at a children's hospital. but NOW my vision is to follow God's mission endlessly and informally.

My parents and I have ups and downs in our relationship since we've been apart for so long and now have different mindsets and cultures. but we've been doing better. We both know that we are different and need to give up certain things to get the puzzles right together. We may go on a little family trip today and come back tomorrow. (S.Korea ain't so big like America where you can travel for weeks and months lol) I hope it works out. I hope we come back home without any hard feelings. haha

I still have lots of things I want to do, lots of places I want to go see, and lots of people I want to see. but if the time comes, I think I will be ready to go back to the states and to see all my friends again and study like crazy again. this time, I won't be back for two years and I think that is why I feel more attached to home than ever. Two years. It will go by fast. I am investing everything in future. and I am actually quite excited about what I will have to give up and also get for staying in the states in the summer 2012.

Family is good

I was pretty anxious about being back home with my parents for summer after being away for so long. (not that bad, actually, but this past year felt like forever!) but now I'm home, it IS good to be home.. haha it is good to be with my parents. Even though I have a home in America with a family that thinks of me as part of their family, my biological parents and my mother country will always be there in my heart. and when I am there, the little love for home is triggered. I am feeling good. :)

My aunt and her husband got the position of the elderly in their church. and according to Korean church custom that I didn't even know til today, family of whomever is getting the promotion in the church is expected to be there at the ceremony to support, congratulate, and celebrate. so me and my parents went to the ceremony today. It was 2 hour long and boring. but it is okay because I am supporting my aunt and uncle I love. Being happy for others' fortune, especially family's fortune is super super important.

Tomorrow is the day. the day Hillsong United is having a concert in Korea. I am super excited and can't wait!! haha