Dancing waters

Have you ever felt as if the waters in a fountain
are dancing just for you?
Each branches of trees moving back and forth by breeze
is waving just at you?
The sun is smiling its light on you just to keep your way bright?
The breeze is blowing at you just to keep you cool?
Everything is moving for you and to congratulate your moments?

Haha, yes, that happened to me today. It was one LOVELY day with warm sunshine and cool and soft breeze. I do not want to sound shallow but I think it was because I met Mr. Lousiana, the guy I was dying to meet. I still do not know his name or his year-and i still wish he is not a senior. But we talked for like 30 seconds? You might just laugh at me and I will accept all your mockings, smirkings, and laughters. I do not care. He was nice and gave the smile I could never forget. and yes he was short. but doesn't that make me a little more just to be interested in him? (cuz I'm like 5'2''-yeah, super dwarf short) But anyway, the 30-sec talk in the morning in replace of my speech class was real nice and totally made my day. Smile!

Everyone, peace out.

Struggle

On someone's blog, it said, "We struggle with ourselves(inner struggle), but we also struggle with others who struggle with themselves. Then we doubt, get angry, and blame ourselves for the struggles with others, and then we struggle with ourselves again".

I don't know why, but that just really hit me. Not because I wasn't aware of it, but because it is so true and I have not seen a statement that is as honest and obvious as this one. The statement describes a lot about me. Hmmmm..

Music cures

MUSIC
I always just listened to music but didn't actually play recently. I've been so busy and distracted by homeworks and tests.. (see what college does to you. it makes you a studying robot) but last night, I got frustrated with something that I can just get over by God's love. so I just started play guitar. I tried to make music with the lyrics I made long time ago. I played one way but couldn't play the same way the second time. It always turned out differently somehow. and then I played some Hillsong United and sang like crazy. I think I literally burst out and just sang my heart out. I didn't care if anyone in the house would hear me. I just wanted to let it out. I don't know what IT really is. but anyway. so as I played music, I definitely felt better. I felt refreshed inside of me from just crying my heart out. I felt more calm yet joyful from playing music. It is something you can't really analyze and dissect the reasons and causes of music. It just cure people's heart. It excites them. It makes EVERYTHING better.
Thanks, music.
I don't have a pic of guitar so I just put up one of piano. :)
Peace out.

Trust and Obey

I had a nice catch up with my friend Katie on Friday.
We talked about life and everything. Our talk was rather intimate and in-depth than just fun and floatting on the surface. Now it feels like we just let out things built up inside of us. It was real nice to talk to her and feel caught up with my relationship with her. We both are extremely busy so we haven't been able to keep in touch or hang out so much. I'm glad we hung. :)

Burning passion

Okay, so I don't know what's going on with me right now. I have no idea what God is putting into my heart and what he is trying to tell me. I wish I could just know but I just don't. I've been having this burning passion for missions, I guess? I thought I was ready to go out and just influence others' lives. I was ready. I wanted to go so bad. I've been praying about it so long. But it's just NOT WORKING. it's not going the way I want it to go.



So I've gotta just stop and think about it. What am I missing? What am I doing wrong and what is really important? Yeah... probably everyone but me sees the point in this whole thing. It's about God, not me. and I just wanted to go because I wanted to feel good about myself by going on mission trips. (but I really have passion for it though.) Because others go to different places and experience different things, I wanted to do that, too. I wanted to be experienced, too. but I guess I'm NOT READY. and I've just gotta wait on His timing, not mine. if I just have patience and wait on Him, He will use me in a great way later.



Honestly, I don't have it completely figured out yet. but I've learned to kind of let it go and just rest in God's arms not my own. but thinking about it, I'm quite excited about my life because I have absolutely NO IDEA where I will go, what I will do, whom I will meet. I have no idea about my future. that's the exciting part. it can be scarry but it's exciting and refreshing because I believe in God who leads me if I just trust in Him. I just wish He will use me to help people.



Amen?

Amen.

Busy, Cold, and Tired

I just got back from spring break. and I have so many tests, assignments, and other stuff to do. and on the top of all the school works, I have spring sing... I have practice everyday starting from this week since we begin our show in two weeks. It is fun but very time-consuming and exhausting. I got back to being busy buried by homeworks. The weather got cold all of sudden today. I was excited to greet warm, pretty spring. but I guess the weather was jealous of the beauty of spring. It's 12:45 a.m. Not too late for me, but considering that I have 7:30 class tomorrow morning, I probably should go to bed. I don't really have anything I want to say in particular. But I just felt like blogging RIGHT NOW.

Oh, I had a pointless, upsetting debate with this guy I met at lunch today. I don't even want to tell this long story, but mainly I got upset because he was trying to change our belief. He used bible passages to prove his belief, which I completely respected. But I got an impression that he think he's the only one that is right since he could quote some bible verses like snapping fingers. But he just wouldn't accept the differences of people's ways to live as a christian. I don't even know.. WHATEVER.

I think I need to go to bed..
oh wait, i need to remove my makeup first. ugh. i feel so lazy. haha.

Parents

Two days ago, I hurt my parents deeply.

I didn't mean to. but my foolishness and immaturity frustrated and hurt them greatly. I've been feeling pretty miserable since that night. I couldn't get over it and have been feeling extremely blue. I couldn't be myself and just got sick eventually. I sent an apology e-mail to my parents the night when the whole thing happened. They didn't reply for two days, and I was nervous, miserable, and really sorry. I felt like the worst child ever-especially since i'm the only child they've ever gotten. I guess it's pretty much a part of life-hurting from hurting parents and learning from it all. From the intense 30 minute conversation between me and my mom, I learned so much. and the lesson cost me a great pain.

but I wanna focus on parents on this post. so I hurt them and tried to apologize but didn't get reply for couple of days, which is not too long but still drove me crazy. and today, I got a reply from them. It was a long e-mail. I cannot say it all because this one e-mail contained so much love and sincerity-indescribable love and sincerity-and priceless lessons.

My heart still hurts. It feels like someone's electric shocking my heart. but I guess what i wanna say is that parents are loving and forgiving 'unconditionally'. and that reflects how God is unconditional to us. I just love them so much.