Summer time review

Hola, amigos! I know I haven't updated my blog like forever. That is because: 1)I am butt lazy. 2)I can't stop once I start typing. 3)I do not remember what to write even though I feel as if I have tons to say... haha. I miss my friends back in the states so much.

The summer is closing to an end. I wish I had about two more weeks to see more people I want to see before I leave for another year. Two more weeks to spend more time with my family. All of us have been so busy with stuff that we hardly spend time together except for Sunday nights. Two more weeks to do more of what I want to do when I am here in Asian land. Just two more weeks.. but Time does not come back. It has no mercy. So I've gotta just suck it and move on. Heya!

This summer has been really busy for me. I worked full time about a month in the beginning and then I got stuck at home studying for this stupid Biology online class. So I was trapped til the beginning of August. and I'm trying to do as many things as possible for about half a month I have left. It is kind of wearing me out, you know? I'm always doing something somewhere with someone. I mean, I love moving around. I do not like just staying home and doing nothing. It makes me feel like a lazy, hopeless person. But it does tire me a little bit now. but it is okay. I have less than two weeks left. I will see as many people as possible. I will spend as much time with my family as possible. I will do as many things I want to do as possible. Now, things I want to do? Those are like: going to photography exhibitions, going to some cool places to take photos of, and buying stuff for the new semester, new life, and my friends. :)

Major changes that I've had this summer? I would say my body. I seriously got into workout plan to be more in shape. I lost some weight but gained some back. (Yeah, I'm a weak-willed person. :( ) and I'd been learning swimming from some people I met at the gym. Now I'm better at free stroke. Yay! Oh another major change: a major decision about my life. I still don't know how the decision I made will go. I do not know if it will stay the same or change. I just want to leave it up to God. I do not know what I need to do. I will just open my ears as big as possible and try to listen to what He says to me. Another major change (Yeah, now I think about it, there are some changes!): I let go of something that I'd been trying to fix. I should've known long time ago that I could not fix it. but now I realized it, I let it go and leave it as it flows. Last major change: I met a new friend that I will keep my relationship with for a long time. I feel like she is a true friend. She taught me so many precious life lessons. She is much older than me yet she treats me like a friend at her age. I am thankful to have met her because otherwise, my summer would have been more boring and lonesome.

I am ready to get back to school. I cannot say I want all those hard work again. I do not want to pull all-nighters to do homeworks or study for tests. They sicken me. But I need to do what I've gotta do, right? and I am ready to reunite with my good ole Harding friends. and I am also ready to see some relaxing green Harding campus. I heard sophomore year is the busiest time in college so I do not how more busy I will be than I was in freshman year. but I do hope to make some precious memories with my lovely friends this coming year. This coming year is kind of scary to me. I feel like I have such a short time to do so many things. It is a little overwhelming. but hey, because I realize how short of time I have left, I feel the true importance of time. I will not waste a second.

Okay, that seems enough.
I will write some more when I can.
Peace, Love, and Blessings,

Noname

I was sitting here thinking what to name this post for a minute or two.. and I could not decide. Nothing seemed to fit in this post. So I just named it Noname.. and Noname probably fits the best. Not because no other name fits but because it actually fits, My senses tell me.

So howdy, Ya'll? (Just to give you a southern shoutout) My summer on the other side of the world from the USA, in Korea, has been bipolar. But let's be positive here. It has been a good life. Life can't be always happy and full of laughter but it does not mean that it is a bad life. Life gets completed with a properly balanced combination of delightful laughters and sorrowful storms. and I have them pretty balanced in my life. Or one side a little heavier than the other. But it is okay because nothing can be perfect. Except God our father.

I'm trying to get back in my relationship with God lately. I've been very distracted by so many earthly things here and pushed myself away from God. (I'm sorry, God) and now I'm trying hard to get back to his face and make him smile at me. I've been going to a different church - way better one for me, actually - and trying to worship him with all my heart. and I've been trying to read the Bible every morning. I've been trying to pray every available second I get. I've been trying.. So hopefully, I will be reconnected to God.

I got a new baby! NIKON D3000!!! It is not the newest or the best camera but I like it. It is reasonably well functioning and attaching to its master, ME. So I shall go out in the nature and the real world to put some ignored by others but precious moments on a little monitor of my new Nikon D3000 babe. PICS COMING SOON..
I'm thinking about making a flickr. What do ya think?
Tumblr hasn't been emotionally attaching to me for some reason I do not even know. I may just get rid of it. Bleh.

I want some juicy steak or real creamy pasta. I've become an American ... just with yellow skin.

I've been into some new things lately: my new camera babe, cool summer color nail polish, puzzle, shorts, learng English grammar, collage, and other things... Haha new interest is always good. I've been learning how to swim from these two guys I met at the gym. They are so good. I can swim but my shape is terrible so they are helping me fix my arm positions and breathing techniques and everything. FOR FREE!!! YAY, what are friends for? (giving swim lessons for free!)

I've been quite depressed with various issues lately. Especially this past weekend was dreadful to me. But now it's a whole new precious week God has given me. so I shall brush my sorrows, frustrations, and angers off of my shoulders and move on. I will smile and say, "It will all be all righty."

Love, Peace, and Blessings,
Seize the Day,
Jin the Asian

Lonesome night

Tonight is rather lonesome.. more lonesome than other nights I've faced lately. Hmm. I do not want to say a lot today.

I want to be cheered up.
I want to be pat on my back and said that it will all be all right.
I want to be consoled.
I want to be paid attention at.
I want to be loved.
I want to be free.
I want to escape.

Things just happened tonight. Actually, they had been rather happening to happen a big time lately, and I had been thinking that it was just a routine thing but it really wasn't. I think it is moving somewhere and changing into something I cannot quite figure out yet. but I actually do hope that it is close to the end, no matter how good it will look as a result. I do not care if there is any consequence for me to deal with. I just want it to be over. Actually, it is not even my business. but when it is a business of someone you love so much, it becomes your business.

I have made a decision that I've been trying to compare the chocies, see which one will be more beneficial for me, and actually deny the choice I need to make. I do not want to broadcast it but since my followers are just really close friends, I am just going to announce it.

I am moving back to South Korea after my sophomore year in college. for my own good. and also to take care of my mom. Nothing is serious. I know God will take care of the situation and everything. Who knows what will or won't happen in my life? I may decide not to transfer by the end of my sophomore year. but for right now, I am.
I may be more depressed, lonely, and miserable after I transfer and live here. but my feelings are not the focus right now. Being with and taking care of my loved ones is. I'm still dealing with this issue and I do not know when it will come to an end.

LIFE LIFE LIFE

My life here in Korea in summer of 2010 has been quite busy. Actually really busy. I just have had so many things to do. My job and diet have been the biggest main focus of my life lately. and just little things are really blocking me from having my own time for summer. But it's okay, I'm satisfied.
Oh man I haven't wrrite on my blog so long that I do not even know what story to begin with. Pew.

From the language school that I worked for a month, I met this 26 years old teacher, and we have become such good friends. She is somewhat different than me but then she is somewhat similar with me. She had so many things happened in her life that whatever comes out of her head and her heart is a life lesson to me. and we are so comfortable with each other regardless of 7 years of age difference. I can really talk to her about things in my life and feel such a comfort. She has met this guy lately and they are so precious. They neither try to rush the steps of making out nor hide their feelings. They are very honest with each other so they just express how much they like each other when they feel like expressing it. But anyway, I thank God for sending her in my life. I only have friends from middle here because I did not go to high school in my home country. so I've met my friends and hung out with them several times but it's not the same anymore. Now it's more like I'm visiting them or they are visiting me because I'm here for a short period of time. and it's just... not the same. so I've been kinda lonely and bored. I've been missing my friends at Harding like crazy. Like CRAZY. but my new friend has made my summer better so far. haha ;)

and... this someone made my summer kind of exciting yet troublesome. hard to explain yet. but are you getting my telepathy?

My family has been better and worse in some ways. but I've kind of let them go. I guess I should say I've let them go in my heart. I still love them but I'm going to stop trying to talk to them to make them understand each other. because it is almost impossible. They don't listen to me anymore. now I think that all these times that I tried to talk to them and make them understand and beg them to understand were just FOR ME. for me to feel better by trying. for me to feel more comfortable in my own home. It was actually me that didn't understand. I was just forcing them to understand each other when they actually did understand but didn't have to act the way I want them to act because they also got hearts. so I'm going to stop talking to them about their relationship because it is their business, not mine. but I'm going to keep striving to be a good daughter. I'm going to make some delicious meals for them because they hardly get a complete meal a day. and I'm going to manage the housekeeping and stuff.

When people leave each other in their hearts, it is done. that's what I knew for a long time but denied until now because I didn't want to believe. People deny so many things even when they know the truth. They deny the truth. because they are too afraid to admit it. they do not want to believe. and I was one of the cowards also.

I went to this Japanese' poet's photography exhibition last saturday. The theme was Communication with the Nature. The photos were not really artsy or skilled but I could see the nature. It was the real natural nature moved on a piece of big photo paper. There were 100 pictures of many countries with 9 different themes. and whenever I looked at each photos, I could feel the tempreture or breeze, I could smell the nature taken a photo of, I could hear the sounds of the people or just the nature, and I could see other things around the nature. It was really weird experience in a good way. I felt like I actually travelled around the countires. because the photos were so real that they made me like I was there when I was looking at the photos. It was a nice experience. :)

July is already here. Time flies. Really fast. I want to make the rest of my summer in Korea memorable, unforgettable, and precious.

Oh by the way, wish me a good luck on this Sunday!

Date with my dad

I had a good night. I do not think I had as much fun lately as tonight. After my workout, my family went to a riverside. It was early summer so the night breeze was kind of chilly but felt REAL GOOOOOOOD! My mom's knee was hurting so my dad and I went on a walk along the riverside. (Dang, I should've taken a picture! if I had a camera!) He and I walked for about thirty minutes and talked about many, many things. mainly about life and.... stuff. It was such a refreshing time with cool, peaceful river breeze under street lights. I think it was more special than ever because I had a walk with my dad alone and we had a sincere talk. A heartfelt talk. And now, I feel like I understand him more. I don't know. It was weird in a good way. I think tonight was one of the best memories I will bring back to USA. :)

I wish I had super power

I wish I had a super power... like knowing what someone is feeling or thinking? Of course, it is all the fun to have relationships without knowing everything, I must agree. However, sometimes I just wish I knew what the other person is thinking so I know what to do, you know? Pew. Humans are manipulative. But what is more stupid is that I still go along with someone even when I know he/she is just playing me around. I don't know. Maybe I can play back, too. But is that right? Heck, what matters?

Unsleepable (?)

It is 6:13 a.m. in Korea, and I've been staying up ALL NIGHT. I tried to go to bed so hard but I just couldn't somehow. and it is driving me nuts because I will look awful today since I got no sleep. Pew. Whatever. Not being able to sleep actually sucks. I mean, I like not sleeping and enjoying the night, but it is quite annoying when I CAN'T go to bed. (oh man my head hurts. :() So I decided to make a new post! I see the windows getting brighter and brighter as the time goes by tonight. Yes, a whole new day is coming right at me. It will be a good day. First, I will go to church. and then, I will have lunch with my friend that has been such a good fella to me ever since 7th grade. She never lost connection with me. and then, I will babysit kids from 3-6. which means I won't be able to work out today because the gym closes at six. Oh well, I will just run outside tonight. Hopefully, I will be motivated to do that..... I'm so fickle that I don't even know how my mind is going to change. LAME.

Going to the gym has been pretty fun. I feel lighter and healthier. and since I go to work pretty much all day long, there's not much encounter with people. but I talk to the trainer in the gym and he is quite funny. but anyway, I shall be under 50kg before I go back to America! this is a declaration of war with MYSELF. It will be extremely tough. Oh man, my shoulders are extremely stiff right now. someone massage me!

I fell in love with this Korean band called C.N.BLUE. I do not know why they are called C.N.BLUE, but they are really good. and they are really CUTE. GEEEEEEEEZ. Haha :)

I walk outside, see things like places, people, and many other things outside, and then frame them in my mind. I just see how awesome they will look in photos. I just need a CAMERA, dang it! I need shooting time really bad. It is a must time for my life.

I'm in the middle of this huge struggle with my future right now. and that is deciding whether to transfer to Korean college after my sophomore year. I do not want to leave Harding because I have some of the most wonderful people I will never meet anywhere else, I have the most beautiful campus that gives me the biggest stress relief, I am in the best club ever DGR!, and I just think Harding is a pretty good place to be. BUT, I cannot stay so comfortable in America having my mom who can hardly see very much now alone in Korea. My dad doesn't help her anymore. She needs someone to hold onto when she goes to places. She needs someone otherwise I will fall every time she takes a step and who knows what is going to happen. I'm so worried about her. I feel like I should be there. It is killing me. but then, I do not want to live with my parents because that drives me crazy, too. Not just because of the normal annoying parents' control of their kids issue but because they make me extremely angry. I do not want to get on this so precisely. but they just build anger inside of me. Looking at them, I do not want to get married because I am afraid if I will be a wife like my mom and meet a husband like my dad. You know? I am so glad to be in America and I cannot even imagine what kind of person I would be now if I just stayed here all my life. but don't get me wrong. I LOVE MY PARENTS. They are great parents. They are just bad wife and husband materials. So..... I don't know what to do. I keep praying and asking God what He wants me to do because I want to do what He wants me to do no matter what that is going to cost. but His answer to this question is kind of slow, I guess.

but anyway... I do not want to post my family matters and everything but I just needed to let out. I want to be in love. (and that was random, ha)

I miss you, my friends in USA.