Thanks 2011, Welcome 2012!

BOOOOOOOM!

Mwahhahahahahahahahaaa :)

LOVE YOU.

I noticed two things:

One, I like to start my post with a big picture of me in intent to scare people.

I hope it works.

Two, I am a really, really bad blogger. I go through extreme rollercoastering phase of blogging and not blogging. I am really sorry..... :(((

Waaaaaaaaaaaah.

I got hooked into a new TV show: NEW GIRL.

It is so funny. There are other funny shows like Friends. Friends is funny because it is dirty and awkward to watch with other peeople.

But New Girl? Oh my gosh. Guys, this is funny.

I mean, this show is legit funny. When I watch it by myself, I just crack up.

I Laught Out Loud. I LOL!

and Zooey Deschanel is so pretty and funny and awkward and perfect for her role!

                                           



I also spent a LOT of time, I mean  a lot of time, on looking up and applying to internships. Including profit and non-profit organizations, incorporations, and everything else that is unpaid internship, I applied to 27 different places.......... I am not sure if that is normal. No one tells me what is normal. So hopefully some places will get back to me and eventually offer me an internship.......
Ahhh, prayers are needed here, guys.
thank you. :)

Okay, I feel like all the bloggers are doing a 2011 look-up or wrap-up or whatever it is.

so I feel like I should do it, too.

But, naaaaaaah, I'm good. I don't feel like looking back at all the happenings, people, and everything else that was in my life for any time..... Haha, I kinda posted my 2011 on this blog so if ya wanna know, you can catch up by looking back at the posts! Because I put off til the last minute of each month and try to catch up on everything on one post, each post is kinda long..... Ha, ha, haha. :))

Welp, lots of things happened. Good and bad. Fortunate and Unfortunate. Predicted and Unpredicted. Made me smile and cry. Calmed me down. and pissed me off.

Lots of people happened, too. Wouldn't say some are necessarily good or bad. But some just stopped by and now are kind of forgotten, sadly. Some have truly touched my life and are still in contact with me, thankfully. and some have thrown garbage at me.

But after all, things passed. people passed. feelings passed. some may be still left deep in my heart. but almost passed.

Because time passed.

Some things seem to be never moving on unlike you are wanting it to. Some things seem to be gone even before you know it.

Some things ... are just there.

No drama.

No expectations.

It's just there.

Solemn and frm.

Like Pine Tree... Haha.

But one thing I know about 2011 is that God was with me. and the people God sent were with me.

The whole time.

The whole freakin' stinkin' time.

and I'm thankful.

because I grew up a little more.

God showed me things and taught me things.

I haven't set resolutions for 2012 yet. Will let you know when I have it all down.

Here's some happy feet for ya.

Ha, ha, haha. :))

I don't want to go into details, but I miss my family. like a lot. a lot. a lot.

It is really strange because I don't really miss my family around this time of the year. I don't have any memories with them on this time of the year. All we do is go to church and have Christmas service and New Year's service.

No gifts.

No stockings with chocolate and a bunch of goodies inside.

No christmas tree (in the house. we set up one at church).

No party.

Maybe eating out.

But I don't know what it is that is making me so homesick like now.

I'm just emotional. and I miss my friends as well.

I need my friends.

Some are in Atlanta, GA right now for Olivia and Dustin's wedding.

They will make such a good married couple. I just wish I could be there for their wedding with all my other friends that are there to congratulate, celebrate, and share the joy of binding a couple into one.

Here are some photos of my family. I'm sorry if I've already put some in other posts.

The joy of friendship, family, and all sorts of relationship

Hello!

I am sorry if I scared you with this pic picture of me.

I guess, since it's around Christmas time, and we all get excited, I decided that I want to talk about how important and joyful relationships are and how we should all be thankful for relationships we have.

Of course, Christmas isn't just all about having fun with other human beings on earth, because it is all about the birth of Jesus who came to pay for our sins. It is "CHRIST"-mas. haha.

Well, however, because the meaning of Christmas is so glorious, we can't help the fact that it is exciting and joyful time of the year! We share the joy of Jesus' birth with others!

Yayyyyyy

Okay, enough of the rambling.

I just want to say thank you to all who took me into their lives and accepted me as one of their friends, family, and everything else! When I was young-probably when I was in like junior high and going through all that insecure time of life-I was craving for relationships. I felt as if I was not fun enough, smart enough, pretty enough, and just not good enough. I felt empty, lonely, rejected, and left out. However, after I found out how much the Lord loves me and how He is my Lord, savior, master, father, friend, and husband, I do not have those sorrowful feelings anymore. I actually realized how much I am loved and cared about by so many people around me. The satan sometimes "tries" to lie to me but I am not buying it. He can bs about it and I will shoo him away.

I love friendships.

I love family.

I love all sorts of relationships God puts me in.

It is such blessing.

I just keep realizing it and my realization keeps getting bigger, heavier, and more thankful.

At DGR Christmas Function "Santa's Workshop".

Jonghwa is such a fun guy!

I came to conclusion that I like pancakes at night much better.

They are sweeter, softer, and fluffier. and they are more jolly.

don't ask me why because I do not know.

Pumpkin pancakes are so good.

and I love my suitemate Larissa.

At Sean's grandparents' house.

Mimi and papa are such sweet-spirited people. I feel so warm and welcomed when I talk to them. I love grandparents.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Love you, mimi and papa.

The campus is so pretty with blue christmas lights everywhere and huge christmas trees, presents, and all sorts of decorations in the heritage building. I feel like I am a princess in a fairytale. I get so excited when I walk through all the lights on the campus at night because all I see is the romantic blue lights that make me want to fall in love.

It is the time of the year when the world falls in love.

can I fall in love at this time of the year?

I am just hoping for white christmas.

The warmth of parental love

While I have been at Harding, I have been jealous of the kidos who get care packages from their parents, grandparents, church, or whatever.

It just looks so exciting and joyful to get a package from home.

It makes you feel thought of, cared about, blessed, and loved.

but I have not gotten any because I had lived at home.

Until now.

My parents, around Chrsitmas time every year, send me a package of things I need and presents for the Beaty's family. Since I'm living on campus now, they sent this year's package to my dorm!

So what does that mean?

That means....

I got to be one of the kids I had been jealous of getting packages and carrying them back to the room with such excitement to open them up and finding out what the packages contain.

You see how joyous I look? The moment of carrying it to Haley's room, opening it up, and looking at each item was so jovial that I was exhausted after I went through all the stuff I got. I loved every moment of it.

The excitement, the warmth from the love of my parents, and the gratitude to the Lord. 

These are what the package contained:

Seaweed wrap, Seaweed for cooking, black bean whole grain shake powder, natural MSG, black bean capsules, three different types of tea, flavored flake to eat with rice, green tea serum, sunscreen, cordless jump rope (just ask me), toothbrushe, and a jovial merry christmas card.

One bag of seaweed wrap contains 16 small packages. I asked for small amount just to have some home-food taste but they sent me three big bags (which ends up being 48 packages).

Asked for small amount of seaweed just to make some soup sometimes. They sent me a big bag os seaweed that serves 80 people. Guess I gotta have some feast with Aisan fellas at Harding.

Did not even ask for toothbrush because I already have a ton. They still sent me 8 more toothbrushes. I think I can have business with how many I have now.

It makes me laugh.

It makes me smile.

It makes my heart warm and cozy.  

It makes me miss my parents.

It makes me cry.

Such cute Christmasy socks my parents sent me. They obviously improved in their taste in fashion. So proud of them! :))

I love you, mom and dad.

TEN thingy's : Thanksgiving

I wrote a list of ten things I am thankful for in celebration of thanksgiving.
Happy thanksgiving, everyone!

Thanksgiving ONE : FAMILY
I am so thankful for family. Yeah, some of yall would say, "you are a brat if you aren't thankful for family!" and yes. I used to be one spoiled brat. I guess I still am because I am an only child who gets all the attention and emotional affection from my parents. but I do have to say that I am really blessed with my biological parents and host parents that have become my another set of parents. Me and my biological parents have gone through some tough times, but we all got through them without breaking what is really valuable: family. We did not break the family. We stayed as family. and we are still one family who cannot live without each other. We love each other so much that we get our hopes up and get frustrated. but in the end, we know. and my host family? oh my my. let me tell ya briefly. Think about a random family that decides to let a little Asian girl in their home, feed her, provide a place for her to sleep at, give rides to school every morning, and finally accept her as one of their family members? All that for free? All that without fussing, arguments within the family, or regretting a moment? Yeah, the random family you just read about is my family here. Long story short, they ARE my family. They may know me even better than my biological parents. Nothing sad or wrong about that. That's just what it is. I am truly, sincerely, and unceasingly thankful for the family God has sent me to. I get to spend thanksgiving with an awesome Christian family with awesome thanksgiving dishes. (My mom knows how to cook-turkey with gravy, cranberry salad, corn casserole, sweet potato casserole, stuffing with/without oysters, mashed potato, homemade rolls, homemade noodles with turkey gravy, homemade cheesecake, pecan pie, and pumpkin pie. Yes. Be jealous. I think I deserve to boast!)

Thanksgiving TWO : FRIENDS
I love my friends, too. Friends back in Korea and here at Harding. and friends I have all over the world. I think God has really blessed me with some friends that truly love me and care about me. My middle school friends back in Korea I still keep in touch with. They are precious. :) and friends I started talking to as a penpal to practice my English all over the United States. and friends I have here at Harding. Oh my, I do not where I would be without all those supportive friends who would cry with me and rejoice with me. and I want to give special thanks to my bestest friends Haley Rogers and Katie Kirkpatrick. They truly trust me, open up to me, and treat me as one of their sisters in Christ. Yes. I learned what sisterhood in Christ is like from them. and I am so thankful. I love friendships! I am not the best at it because I think I am kind of awkward.. haha but hey. God loves me. Ha.

Thanksgiving THREE : CHURCH
So many people look for a church they can feel comfortable at home at. They go on this grant tour on all the local churches and many of them get frustrated. Could be their fault with their too high expectations for church but it does not necessarily have to be. It may be that they just don't feel like they fit in it. How unfortunate is that? I am so thankful that God has put me in churches in which I feel like I am family with the people there. I did not even try to find one. I just went to my dad's church back home. I went to the new church my mom suggested me to go to. and I am not going to church where my host dad preaches at. and all of them turned out very spiritual and uplifting to me. They taught me what family in church is like, what church should be like, what serving really is, and how we all need to be servants in the church instead of guests or birthday girls/boys who expect to be given everything.

Thanksgiving FOUR : SCHOOL
I do complain about how terrible school is. I get sick and tired of doing school work. and I get burnt out from going through the same routine every day. I sometimes bash the professors, courses, and even the school as a whole. I do not agree with all the rules my school has. I do not agree with all the doctrines and beliefs my school denomination has. BUT when am I ever gonna like anything 100%? There will be always something I do not approve of. and sometimes. no, a lot of itmes, I just need to suck it up and move on. So I do suck it up and move on. I follow the rules according to the student handbook, constitution, and church of christ beliefs. I do not have such turmoils, thankfully. and when I think about it, I can't really say or think of anything but that I am thankful to be able to go to school. I get education that a lot of people in the world can't even imagine getting. I get educated, knowledge, matured, and cultured to be available for God in the future. That is awesome. and a lot of the people I meet are very spiritual, Christianly, and uplifting. I learn something everyday from someone in school. and I am really thankful to be surrounded by such awesome support system founded in Christ.

Thanksgiving FIVE : SUN
Oh man, those who know me know that I love sun. I just love looking at sun. especially in the morning. Very refreshing, soul-cleansing, and soul-warming. It does everything but harm. It makes everything better. I think it is because when I face the sun, I feel as if the Lord's face is shining down on me. I feel like He reminds me of His promises for me everyday.

Thanksgiving SIX : TREE
I also love tree. It is very pleasant to look at them, touch them, sit under them to do homework or do devotional, and hug them. There is no ugly tree. There is no invaluable tree. Tree exposes oxygen we need to breathe. Tree is the organic, natural air purifier. and it is the genuine work of God. I get amazed when I picture the process of tree growth in my head and when I think about how it is all done with a simple command of God. and of course, I am eco-friendly. I recycle. I love to go green.

Thanksgiving SEVEN : FOUR SEASONS
My favorite seasons are fall and winter just because I love to wear flannels, sweaters, scarves, and boots with skinny jeans. but really. all four seasons are so distinctive and beautiful. They have cons because we make cons out of it. They do not have natural cons but only natural pros. They feel different but all are enjoyable. They look different but all are beautiful. Thankful for the four seasons so we don't get bored of hot, cold, or lukewarm.

Thnksgiving EIGHT : HEART
What if we do not have feelings? What if we do not know what love is like? What if we do not know what the joy in the Lord feels like? How miserable, dull, and boring would life be? I am so glad that God gave each individual a heart that feels. A lot of times, the satan plays with our emotions so we feel alone, empty, and lonely and drift ourselves way from God. but that is not created by Him. and we have the promise of the ultimate victory. Feeling thankful, joyful, hopeful, blessed, and loved is such an awesome thing we all need to be thankful for. Heart is where the Lord resides in us. We are in His heart as well. He feels us.

Thanksgiving NINE : FOOD
Of course I am a girl. and all the females LOVE to eat. Do we have different taste buds from the males? but we just love everything about food and eating it. The temperature, the color or the look, the texture, the scent, and the taste are stimulated like New Year's fireworks in London. and I don't know about yall. but I LOVE to eat. Don't worry, I am not bulimic. I have been bulimic so I know I am not. I just enjoy eating. It is such pleasant thing. I give myself something good. Something nutritious, rich, pleasing, reviving, and invigorating. Something God has really blessed us with. Food.

Thanksgiving TEN : THE SUPREME BEING
One of the evidences of the existence of God I learned is Ontological claim: The possible supreme being exists in reality. I am so thankful to God for His supreme being. He is the creator: He is eternal, everlasting, unceasing, unending, and never-drying. If He wasn't, I would not be here. I am here because He is here. and He is here because He is the eternal, supereme being. Supreme. How magnificent does that sound? He is supreme. because He is the King. and because He is the Lord. of all.

TEN thingy's : Food

DARK CHOCOLATE

I am not a fan of too many candy bars and all sorts of sweets. BUT give me dark chocolate and i will devour it. Love the bitterness of it and the tough after-taste. and I personally think that dark chocolate is way more romantic than milk chocolate. Just sayin'.

CHEESE

Oh my goodness. How I am fond of cheese. One of the things that I will not be able to give up. Cheesecake is my favorite kind of cake, also. Have not tried too many kinds yet because they are kind of costly. and my body is not very dairy-friendly so I eat it little but often. and I am thinking about starting on vegan cheese. Let's see how it tastes. (or costs) One day, I want to go on cheese tour in Europe.

ICE CREAM

Okay. Who does not love ice cream? I can't say I am not the only, unique girl who likes ice cream. But I really do like ice cream A LOT. My favorite flavor is mint chocolate chip, strawberry, and green tea. Oh I kinda want to include frozen yogurt & milk shake in this, too. I don't like my ice cream with whole lot of toppings. but sometimes, I get cravings for banana split with boat-loads of fudge, nuts, and banana chunks!

SOYMILK

Because I am not very dairy-friendly, I drink a lot of soy milk. I like the taste way better, too. and I think it is healthier? I mean, I do not know about calcium, but soy milk contains a lot of protein so it fill you up with the good nutrient!

COFFEE

Caffeine does nothing to me. Nothing. It does not keep me awake. It does not make me jumpy or jittery. I can drink it at one o'clock at night and go to bed right away. I've dozed off while holding coffee in my hand. I just love the smell and the taste of coffee. It makes me feel so elegant and classy. I usually drink my coffee black but when I feel like having some smoother coffee, I get soy latte put some cinnamon powder. It is richer yet not as heavy. YUM!

TEA

I know. I sound like a person who drinks a lot or only drinks. I do like drinks. but I really like soy milk, coffee, and tea out of all the drinks like sodas, juices, or cocktails! Haha well I drink green tea most of the time because I got bunch for free but I really like jasmine because I can sense the soft floral scent.

SWEET POTATOES

Beautiful yellowish organge color, sweet scent, full of fiber, the soft texture after cooking it, and the soft and sweet fireworks in my mouth! YUM! plain steamed, fried, mashed, casserole, or any way of its being cooked, I would like it!

GREEN BEANS

Just like sweet potatoes, I can eat green beans any time in any way of cooking it. I really like all sorts of vegetables but I would have to say green beans are my favorite and all-time-available kind for me. But besides green beans, I really like broccoli, asparagus, and brussels sprouts. Softly crunch, clean after-taste, and energizing feeling after eating it! Gotta love veggies♥

OATMEAL

Yes, very inexpensive but really healthy for women!(according to my best friend Haley!) It's perfect for breakfast because it's quick and easy to fix. It does not leave the sweet after-taste on my tongue that makes me want more food, most likely sweets. and It is full of fiber so it cleanses your system and gives you energy. I like it with about half-spoonful of honey and cinnamon powder. I would like it with some berries but as a college student I do not have such money pocket for it. :))

STRAWBERRY

I pretty much like all kinds of fruits but I would have to say strawberry is my favorite. Sweet and sour but leaves a refreshing, clean after-taste! YES. I wish I owned a little strawberry farm. When I get married and settle down, I am actually planning to have a little garden where I can grow my own tomatoes, strawberries, and greenie vegies. Exception will be when I live in an apartment in a big city, which I would actually like. :))

SEAFOOD

Yes, can you tell I am an Asian? Haha. I love all kinds of seafood. Shrimp, salmon, tuna, catfish, scallop, clam, crab, sushi, sashimi, and even any kinds of rolls! It is so good. It is nutritious and lightweight on your body. It does not set too heavy in your tummy. It rather gets your body going by energizing it. How awesome is that? I know, it is really easy to have the gross, nasty sea scent in your mouth but hey. Isn't having cow blood taste in your mouth just as gross and nasty?

I long for healthy living!

Okay, okay.

I feel like I do pretty good job at being healthy by eating healthy foods at the right time and working out at least 3 days a week. and I feel good being healthy and actually enjoy being healthy. I'd much rather choose healthy food than processed food, junk food, or fast food like hamburgers.

Because I do a good job at being healthy during the week, I give myself a little break to spoil myself by eating unhealthy foods. and I don't think that giving yourself a little break is a bad thing at all. It actually is one of the strategies for more effective dieting. HOWEVER, my problem is that when I give myself a break, I just let myself loose and go insane. It's like I've never seen chocolate before. I drown myself in it. I sinnk in the chocolate spa pool. Yeah, BINGE. that is the problem here. I decide to give myself a break over the weekend. but I binge. and then I feel really loaded up and bloated. and I feel bad in myself.

I wish I had control over myself even when I give it a break. I wish I could just be done with a tiny piece of cake and be perfectly satisfied. I wish I could say no to every offer to dig into some delicious, rich, and moist yet unhealthy foods that just weigh me down.

Now I binged this weekend, I will probably feel really loaded up, bloated, weighed down, and tired - long-term sugar crash, could it be? haha and my body will probably swell because of unexpected amount of unexpected and unwelcomed kind of food in the system.

According to the foot massage my host dad gave me, my liver, stomach, and pancreas are not working perfectly right. I guess I've always known because I've always had problems with my system but I never gave much serious thought to it. but now I feel like I really need to fix myself.

My body is the Lord's temple as well as my soul; therefore, I need to take a good care of it by feeding the right nutrients and moving regularly so it can stay clean and active.

I am so sick and tired of this cycle of eating healthy and binging. Therefore, I am going to set some rules:

1. NO junk food whatsoever. (like candy, candy bars, fried chips, etc)

2. Always think of a healthy alternative: more PROTEIN and FIBER

3. Give yourself a break over weekend but have control of it:

have only ONE kind of LITTLE piece of whatever.

4. Don't accept every offer. It is OKAY to say no.

5. When eating out, HALF the food first. eat one half and take the half out.

6. Listen to your tummy: am I hungry? if not, don't eat anything. It leads to binging.

If you feel bored in your mouth, drink WATER or TEA.

7. EXERCISE at least 3 days a week.

8. Concentrate on the full flavor of the food so the little amount can fully satisfy you.

9. DEEP BREATHE before you go for more food or food with empty calories

10. The purpose is not just to lose some weight. It is TO BE HEALTHY.

Being healthy leads to healthy body, healthy mind, and healthy soul with healthy attitude.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

Also, those foods that are processed, fried, greasy, or have lots of sugar mess things up for me like: SKIN, DISGESTIVE SYSTEM, and EMOTIONS.

Let's be a responsible individual and take care of ourselves. It leads to good things. I bet the Lord agrees with me!

Homerun balls and Parisian dream

Bonjour!

You're probably wondering what the heck all those weird stuff  are.

Well, one of the wonderful beaux of Delta Gammar Rho, Jonghwa Lee, is generous enough to share some of Korean food with me!

Apparently, his sister sent him a package full of Korean food, and I kinda asked for some...

(I know.. pitiful, I am. haha but I no care!)

Anyway, so the green boxed stuff are like cream-puffed balls except it's chocolate-puffed balls!

(they are called "Homerun balls!")
Yes, yummmmmmy!

and the two little cartons are soy milk!
Oh I love soy milk!

and the two packages in the very front are seaweed, which I love to eat with oatmeal that are cooked dry.

I know, it sounds really weird and nasty to yall. but I no care!

and the rest are ramen noodles. (yes, korean ramen noodles are the best)

I just want to say "THANK YOU" for giving me such homie comfort. :))

and just a little outfit I put together wishing I could go walk around the Effel tower right now.

on a sunny day. with a straw berry ice cream in one hand.

I shall, I shall, some day!

shirt, pants, earrings, clutch bag, shoes